“It’s a long way to the top…if you wanna rock and roll”….to quote AC/DC.
And it is tough to be a “juke-box hero”…to quote Foreigner.
And you might have aspirations to “rock and roll all nite, and party every day”…to quote KISS.
But how can you tell? How do you know if you and your band has got what it takes? Well, good question…but here’s some signs to let you know that you’re NOT gonna make it:
At your last gig, the ticket-taker got more groupies.
You just scored a permanent residency . . . in the bass player’s mom’s backyard.
VH1 featured you on “Behind the Crappy Music”.
When you ask the crowd for requests, they scream, “LEAVE!”
The only pair of panties that land onstage is a pair of boxers that belong to a guy.
Your last gig was as the opening act for a Chumbawamba tribute band.
People describe you as a “cover band.” But only because the band makes the audience want to “cover” their ears.
More than one member plays the washboard.
Your “tour bus” is a 1988 Chevette.
Your last show was stopped because people rushed the stage. Specifically a bunch of guys repossessing all of your musical equipment.
Your groupies have a cool nickname: Non-existent.
The lead guitarist doesn’t even make faces during his solos.
The only music festival you’re invited to is Sucky-palooza.
Your last album went aluminum.
Just remember, keep chasin’ that dream!
(PHOTO: usafe.af.mil)
